December 15, 2007
St. Paul is finally starting to feel like home again for me. It took quite a bit longer than I thought it would, but it's a welcome feeling now that it has finally come. I really struggled for a while getting accustomed to things that used to be so second nature to me before I left. I am now comfortable getting in my car every morning and driving to work, making weekly (instead of daily) trips to the grocery store, and shaking hands instead of giving three kisses on the cheek when I greet people. I'm not quite up to the pace of life here, but I'm okay with that because I really enjoyed the slower pace of life in Europe and I'm not ready for that feeling to be forgotten yet.
I'm still not ready for the holidays to be here, but there's nothing I can do to stop them. I'm just running to try to catch up. I knew that the world was going to go on without me here, but nonetheless I find myself having trouble dealing with it sometimes. With Christmas approaching, this is one of those times. Christmas hadn't even crossed my mind until the day after Thanksgiving shopping day, but I was not yet up to the task of picking out presents. I felt like I had to get to know my family and friends all over again before I could figure out what I might want to get them. A couple of times in Europe, buying gifts crossed my mind but I didn't have any room in my suitcase so I didn't come home with anything. Needless to say, I felt like I was starting from ground zero. I know that I'll get there though. I keep in touch with a friend in Maastricht who says she felt much the same way when she returned from living in Tanzania. She reassures me that I will adapt and feel comfortable again. I appreciate her insight and the chance to talk with someone who's been through it before.
I've been lucky enough to see many of my friends and family now that I have been home about a month, but I still look forward to catching up with everyone else. It will come... with time.
Friday, January 4, 2008
Culture Shock in My Home Town
December 1, 2007
What do you do when home doesn't feel like home anymore? This is a question that I have struggled with for over 2 weeks now.
The transition back to living in Minnesota has not been as easy as I thought it would be. In fact, it has been more difficult for me than the transition from Minnesota to Maastricht. Maybe it is because I was prepared for the transition to living in Maastricht to be difficult but I was expecting that the transition back home wouldn't phase me.
Mostly it was the little things hat got to me, but there were also some big things.
The Grocery Store
One of our first stops after arriving home was the grocery store to restock our empty fridge and cabinets. We wandered up and down the aisles in Cub Foods. I felt so out of place. None of the food looked good to me and I found myself getting lost in all of the choices. I missed the little market in Maastricht. When we arrived in the cereal aisle, I looked at all of the boxes and all of the different choices and I felt like crying. It was so overwhelming. I couldn't choose. That's not a feeling to which I am accustomed. I almost always have an opinion on what I would or would not like to eat. But somehow Maastricht changed me. At the market in Maastricht, there are only a few choices of cereal and I grew so accustomed to picking the only one that looked good. As time passed and I wasn't forced to face so many choices on a daily basis, I grew out of practice. Who'd have thought that would happen?
Driving
While living in Maastricht, I didn't have a car so I didn't have to drive for over 3 months. I walked and biked and took the train everywhere I walked to travel. So when I returned, it was a big challenge for me to have to drive everywhere. I had to drive to work, to the grocery store, to visit my friends. I frequently found myself feeling guilty about all of the miles I was driving and all of the gas I was burning. I also missed the ease of walking and biking everywhere. Hopefully when it warms up here I'll be able to do less driving and more biking/walking.
Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving was upon us sooner than I expected and I wasn't quite prepared for it. In fact, I hadn't even thought about the holidays until they had arrived. I felt so far behind. So we drove down to Mom's house for the big dinner with the family. It was a nice gathering with good food, but the thing that I noticed most, more than enjoying time with family I had seen for so long, was how loud it was in the house... how loud we all were as we bantered back and forth and talked about life. Life in Maastricht was so quite. The people are just quieter in Europe, in general. I guess the stereotype about Americans being loud is true, at least in the case of my family.
Friends
You know those friendships you have spent years and years building, those friends you have had since elementary school... living alone in another country for three months has a way of making all of those relationship feel awkward. I was so excited to get back home and reconnect with my friends, but when we got together I didn't know what to say to them. It felt weird. I felt like I had changed so much and while the world went on without my friends were all still relatively the same. I missed so much while I was away, including my high school reunion. But I also gained a lot. I've grown. I feel more confident and more relaxed. It took me a while to realize that though. I just wanted more than anything to feel comfortable around all of my friends and family.
What do you do when home doesn't feel like home anymore? This is a question that I have struggled with for over 2 weeks now.
The transition back to living in Minnesota has not been as easy as I thought it would be. In fact, it has been more difficult for me than the transition from Minnesota to Maastricht. Maybe it is because I was prepared for the transition to living in Maastricht to be difficult but I was expecting that the transition back home wouldn't phase me.
Mostly it was the little things hat got to me, but there were also some big things.
The Grocery Store
One of our first stops after arriving home was the grocery store to restock our empty fridge and cabinets. We wandered up and down the aisles in Cub Foods. I felt so out of place. None of the food looked good to me and I found myself getting lost in all of the choices. I missed the little market in Maastricht. When we arrived in the cereal aisle, I looked at all of the boxes and all of the different choices and I felt like crying. It was so overwhelming. I couldn't choose. That's not a feeling to which I am accustomed. I almost always have an opinion on what I would or would not like to eat. But somehow Maastricht changed me. At the market in Maastricht, there are only a few choices of cereal and I grew so accustomed to picking the only one that looked good. As time passed and I wasn't forced to face so many choices on a daily basis, I grew out of practice. Who'd have thought that would happen?
Driving
While living in Maastricht, I didn't have a car so I didn't have to drive for over 3 months. I walked and biked and took the train everywhere I walked to travel. So when I returned, it was a big challenge for me to have to drive everywhere. I had to drive to work, to the grocery store, to visit my friends. I frequently found myself feeling guilty about all of the miles I was driving and all of the gas I was burning. I also missed the ease of walking and biking everywhere. Hopefully when it warms up here I'll be able to do less driving and more biking/walking.
Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving was upon us sooner than I expected and I wasn't quite prepared for it. In fact, I hadn't even thought about the holidays until they had arrived. I felt so far behind. So we drove down to Mom's house for the big dinner with the family. It was a nice gathering with good food, but the thing that I noticed most, more than enjoying time with family I had seen for so long, was how loud it was in the house... how loud we all were as we bantered back and forth and talked about life. Life in Maastricht was so quite. The people are just quieter in Europe, in general. I guess the stereotype about Americans being loud is true, at least in the case of my family.
Friends
You know those friendships you have spent years and years building, those friends you have had since elementary school... living alone in another country for three months has a way of making all of those relationship feel awkward. I was so excited to get back home and reconnect with my friends, but when we got together I didn't know what to say to them. It felt weird. I felt like I had changed so much and while the world went on without my friends were all still relatively the same. I missed so much while I was away, including my high school reunion. But I also gained a lot. I've grown. I feel more confident and more relaxed. It took me a while to realize that though. I just wanted more than anything to feel comfortable around all of my friends and family.
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