Finally Feeling Like Home Again

December 15, 2007

St. Paul is finally starting to feel like home again for me. It took quite a bit longer than I thought it would, but it's a welcome feeling now that it has finally come. I really struggled for a while getting accustomed to things that used to be so second nature to me before I left. I am now comfortable getting in my car every morning and driving to work, making weekly (instead of daily) trips to the grocery store, and shaking hands instead of giving three kisses on the cheek when I greet people. I'm not quite up to the pace of life here, but I'm okay with that because I really enjoyed the slower pace of life in Europe and I'm not ready for that feeling to be forgotten yet.

I'm still not ready for the holidays to be here, but there's nothing I can do to stop them. I'm just running to try to catch up. I knew that the world was going to go on without me here, but nonetheless I find myself having trouble dealing with it sometimes. With Christmas approaching, this is one of those times. Christmas hadn't even crossed my mind until the day after Thanksgiving shopping day, but I was not yet up to the task of picking out presents. I felt like I had to get to know my family and friends all over again before I could figure out what I might want to get them. A couple of times in Europe, buying gifts crossed my mind but I didn't have any room in my suitcase so I didn't come home with anything. Needless to say, I felt like I was starting from ground zero. I know that I'll get there though. I keep in touch with a friend in Maastricht who says she felt much the same way when she returned from living in Tanzania. She reassures me that I will adapt and feel comfortable again. I appreciate her insight and the chance to talk with someone who's been through it before.

I've been lucky enough to see many of my friends and family now that I have been home about a month, but I still look forward to catching up with everyone else. It will come... with time.